Divorced

I finally got legally divorced. I am almost to the very end of the process but it is official and the papers are signed. It was almost ten years ago when I left. I began planning my exit a little over ten years ago. I have been permanently changed. divorce scrabble

I never realized, especially after living separately and basically single for the last eight years, how much the legal process was going to hurt my heart. I have been laid waste. Over the last year I have been in the wilderness of self analysis and introspection. My basic self was shaken by the huge life mistake I made at the age of 25, and the results of trying to make that bad choice work. It left me broken. So long to heal. I am recovering now, but I feel I have survived a war.  No other major life event has changed me on such a deep level. I think I’m ready to live again.

From this point on, I am an individual, a sovereign human being. I will never again be defined as a wife, a girlfriend, anyone’s woman or a ‘girl’. I have fully and completely, on the downward side of middle age, finally grown into my own as a person.

I found a short piece, I guess it is a poem, that I wrote back when I knew it was time to leave. Ten years ago. Under a pseudonym I created to help me find my inner self again.

Home Conflict Arguing Husband Relationship Divorce

Recycling Day

When you first came to me, you were so beautiful, so sweet. Flowers and presents and lots of attention. You would listen to my advice about many things. Yet, I saw the future, I knew your faults. I hesitated long. But, you were new and shiny and despite your faults, I thought we could make it together. We looked so good together. We had such fun shopping together.

We were productive. Didn’t take us long to produce a child together and for awhile, things were going so well. Then, we made another child and we were a real family.

You were funny and supportive, great through the birth and early stages of the kids. But the arguing started. We could never agree on anything, especially when it came to issues of money.

You began to take all the things that were mine and take them over. Whatever I was into at the time, you knew more about it and could talk with more authority about it than I could. Or at least, you talked more loudly.

Your life seemed to go on the way you wanted it while mine sort of got stuck taking care of you and the kids and the house. I talked to you again and again about my dissatisfaction with the situation. You always said exactly what you were supposed to. Yet nothing ever changed. Changes instigated by me were overruled or unsupported.

Back in the beginning, I thought I could change the most unsettling and unpleasant part of you; the wastefulness. But after so many years together, you still have no concept of frugality. You don’t turn off lights you aren’t using. You have the thermostat cranked up way high in the winter while you walk around in shorts and nothing else. In the summertime, it stays so low that everyone else is freezing. When anyone adjusts it, you complain.

Despite patient teaching on how to recycle and why, when I’m away I come home and find the trash can full and the recycling bin empty. Unimportant, you say.

Money matters are a disaster. We’ve never been able to agree on any sort of method that works. You spend too much and never give a thought to the fact that tens and twenties make hundreds and thousands. You seem determined to always live beyond your means and I have never been able to change it. In compensation, I’ve gone beyond frugal to mean.

I think I’ve had enough. It’s recycling day. The day we take things that have been useful and purposeful to us, and give them a fresh start to becoming something new and different. The day our homes and lives release the things that have been cluttering our rooms and minds and weighing us down.

Copyright 2008 MJSC as Lorelei Larsson

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Peace and Much love to you, friends.

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Sheep and Goats

Greetings and usual apologies for not posting here more. Recently, I have been rediscovering my roots in Christianity though I hesitate to even use the word, as it has been so corrupted. I have always been a Bible reader, grew up reading it and have returned to it again and again throughout my lifetime. About six months ago, one of the Anonymous people I followed on twitter and youtube came out from behind the mask and became Global Witness.

The first time I ever heard him, I was down with his message because he was saying the same things I had been saying for years. I asked my grown daughter to watch him with me. She was amazed, looked at me and said, “Wow Mom he is saying the same stuff you’ve been talking about and teaching me all my life.”

mama baby sheep

 

So, I got on a YouTube streak about a year ago and started following all sorts of interesting people talking about all sorts of interesting things, SecureTeam10, MattRogers bless him, MR.MB333 to name a few, but one of  my very favorites, is Derek Broes of Global Witness. His insight and timing was a life changer for me, and as I said, I am now all up in my Bible and been there for awhile now.

Now, about these Immigrant Kids and Families. 

All has shaken down thanks to Chris Hayes (a real journalist, and he rocks). The resulting blow up around detaining and imprisoning kids has dominated the media, much to my surprise. They are distracting us from even worse horrors, of course. And the details are horrible, shocking, but not surprising to me because I know how awful the people running the show really are.

cool horned goat or sheep

Anyway, I broke my Twitter about it all and that has been my thing for the last week or so since the story broke. No it ain’t all on Trump, and as usual my NO LABELS policy and attempts to eliminate echo chambers had me discussing the topic on all sides with all different types of people.

sheep peep

What truly shocked me was, as usual, the response of Trump supporters towards these people and children coming into our country. Most of these people are literally quite willing to let people die. Bloodthirsty and totally lacking in compassion for their fellow human. I knew they were heartless, but the fact that most of these people espouse “Jesus” or being “Christian” makes me realize we are into something significant here. This is a biblical thing.

My internet went down for awhile yesterday and I couldn’t work.  I spent some of the time meditating then picked up my bible. I did the creepy thing we spiritual people do when we ask for guidance and direction; literally let the wind blow the pages to the message we are to receive. This is the message I received yesterday. I couldn’t post it then so I am posting it now with this rather rambling preface.

And I added some pictures. I’m getting better at this.

snoozy goat

In regards to everything the world is facing these days, and especially to those who are claiming to be Christians, I give to you the words of Jesus from the Bible.

Matthew 25:31-48

31 When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. 32 All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people on from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats, 33 He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.

34 Then the King will say to those on his right, Come you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.

37 Then the righteous will answer him, Lord when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?

40 The King will reply, I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.

41 Then he will say to those on his left, Depart from me you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42 For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat. I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink. I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.

44 They also will answer,

Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?

45 He will reply, I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these you did not do for me.

46 Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”

So I have some apologies to make to sheep. I realize, I want to be a  sheep, not a goat. I guess somehow this passage never really got to me before, I mean, I have read it time after time. Yet now, I suddenly get ashamed because I have used the term sheep as a derogatory term so often through the years.

In our culture we have come use sheep to signify going along with the crowd mindlessly. “We the sheeple” was a favorite catchphrase of mine back in the 90’s when all this we have now was just getting started. In my twitter lectures I have often referred to those blindly following the status quo, as sheep.

I take all that back now. And I have to reckon with the fact that I am a sheep.

Goats climb around and make trouble. Sheep mind their own business, they don’t necessarily mindlessly follow. They sometimes follow with a purpose. They are gentle, peaceful, useful creatures who stick together.

As Derek talks about so often, the evil which is controlling this world has taken everything and corrupted it. So here is another concept the evil one has twisted around in our minds.

I will never use the term sheep or sheeple to describe sleeping people again. Those people are asleep, not sheep.

Here Jesus is using the goats and the sheep to make a point. The sheep were the peaceful, gentle, sincere, compassionate ones. The “helpers” as Mr. Rogers said. They are the humane people, the loving people. Again, always, Love: the ultimate, simple, complete law, the only law we need.

I guess being a sheep isn’t that bad as long as we are completely aware of and satisfied with who or what we are following. But don’t follow along with the crowd just because it is comfortable. Only follow when you know the thing that you follow is Love. Stay gentle, compassionate, and helpful. Find the love for all humanity in your heart, not just the ones who look and sound like you. We are all connected and when we hurt any human, animal or the earth itself, we hurt ourselves. Love each other and love yourself.

cool sheep face

 

 

Fiction Short by Mellow D! THE INVASION

Bonjour twitter friends and WordPress readers! I’ve been away too long! Sometimes life gets too much and the depression sets in. With that said, I’m back and feeling better.

I have a gift for you. Today I’m sharing a short story I recently finished. This is about a 10 min read, roughly 3000 words. Nothing profound, but hopefully it will make you laugh and feel a little better. It made me feel better to write it. Please leave me feedback if you’d like, I will be making my blog a priority from now on, so I will respond promptly. Thank you so much for your kind comments both here and on Twitter. I’ve been lining up some old flash fiction and more short stories I have written in the past to share with you over the next several days, so please come back and visit soon. Hope you enjoy the story.

 

THE INVASION

Copyright 2018 by Melodi Joy aka Mellow D

By MJ Ford 2018

Henry stared at the wet, stinky black mess as he stood in the in the pouring rain, shivering. He felt much older than thirty, yet he felt helpless, like a small confused child. Darkness had turned the cool May day into a cold night. He’d had a cup of coffee thanks to the volunteer who showed up, but that was an hour ago.

Sally, a warm, kind, butch woman in her 50s, had also left a pile of necessities on the porch, undamaged, before she left twenty minutes ago. The last fire truck flashed red lights silently as it roared off. Henry watched the red flashes fade to a haze, turned and slunk onto the porch of his house, out of the rain. He flipped the plastic chair which had been knocked over back onto it’s legs and collapsed into it with a soft groan. He closed his eyes and revisited the events of what had started out as a normal day.

It was cool as he made his breakfast but he had the windows open anyway. The fresh air smelled like spring, and he could hear the birds celebrating as he sat in the simple kitchen of the small house he’d bought a year ago, drinking coffee and eating a microwaved sausage biscuit. He lived alone. He never could keep a girlfriend. He preferred his own company most of the time.

The day at the shop had been brutal. His first job had a problem he hadn’t seen before. Then he cut his arm on a bolt trying to get underneath the manifold. The boss had been running around getting in the way, bitching and moaning about how long the cars were in the bays. They’d had all three filled up with the same cars all day and Henry’s was still in progress when they closed it up at 5:30.

Shitty, but not a huge deal, it happens. He’d been working on cars at that shop for ten years now and he felt pretty confident he’d remain employed.

His mood didn’t suffer too much, the cut was bandaged and no longer stinging, so he’d had a beer with the guys, then stopped by the grocery on his way home to his little vinyl sided place just outside of town.

He parked his truck in the driveway and headed inside through the kitchen door at the back, carrying two bags of groceries he’d picked up. The sun was getting low. It had clouded up and was starting to rain. After transferring the frozen food from the bag to the freezer, he picked out a big pasta entree, peeled the lid back and stuck it in the microwave to cook while he put away the other bag of groceries. He was holding a can coffee when he saw a movement in the corner just under the cabinet. He froze.

Henry didn’t like animals, and he especially didn’t like bugs. He couldn’t tell what that thing was, a huge bug? Or had it been a mouse? It had run behind the toaster oven before he could get a good look at it. Dammit, no, it couldn’t have been a mouse, it was running down the wall. A mouse can’t do that can it? But what the hell kind of insect? One of those huge cockroaches? Do we even have those here? I’ve never seen one of those here. What the hell was that? So went his thoughts.

Holding the can of coffee like a weapon, he reached over and moved the toaster oven, peering behind it. Nothing. Nothing behind the toaster on the wall. He pushed the toaster back into position and turned to put away the coffee. After putting everything away he kept his eye on things around the toaster oven as he got a beer and a can of cheese out of the fridge, placing them on the table.

He went in and took a shower, washing off almost all the black grime, he scrubbed his hands a long time with lava boy, enjoying the feel of warm water on his backside while he did it, but of course he couldn’t get it all off. He pulled on his favorite flannel pants and pulled on his favorite orange sweatshirt, pulling the hood up over his damp hair as he headed back into the kitchen to get his first dinner box out.

There was something on the counter. Next to the toaster oven. He felt his heart pounding in his chest as he forced himself to move closer. It was black, and the size of a small avocado. He crept closer, heart pounding even faster as he realized it was a spider. It had something on its back. Eggs? What the hell was that? As he got close enough to swat the thing, it flashed across the counter and down, out of sight, into the crevice between the cabinet and the wall behind the refrigerator.

He resisted the urge to run out of the kitchen door, screaming. He could feel blood pounding rhythmically in his ears, breathing softly so as to make no noise. He thought of calling an exterminator, but didn’t think anyone in town did that. He’d have to get somebody over from Jackson and that was an hour away. No way in hell anyone would do that this late. Well, they would but he didn’t have the money to fund that.

He really wanted to eat his pasta. He could smell it and his mouth was watering. But he dared not take his eyes off the area where he last saw the spider. He stared at the crevice and the gap behind the fridge, thoughts of masses of spiders pouring out from under and around the appliance.

Hunger finally won and he rationalized that he was a grown man. Besides, the spider was on the other side of the kitchen from the microwave where his food was. Pulling a plastic fork out of the takeout drawer and sprinkling on some cheesy flakes, he stood and stared at the refrigerator crevice as he ate his pasta out of the box, renewing his energy for the battle ahead.

As he chewed, he inventoried the tools he had available to kill the spider. Fly swatter, that was on top of the fridge, too short, too flimsy, too small for the huge thing anyway. Broom, in the corner of the pantry, might work. Insecticide spray; would that work on spiders? Spiders have more legs than insects. Still, worth a try, Henry thought.

He briefly considered the small 22 caliber pistol he kept in the bedroom nightstand, but dismissed the thought; he’d wind up shooting holes in his house and that would be expensive. Would the thing try to crawl up his pants or into his hair? He realized the boxed meal was empty and sat it on the kitchen table. The trash can was over by the fridge, too close to the spider.

He went to the bedroom to find clean socks, opening the nightstand and holding the pistol for a few contemplative seconds, then putting it back in the drawer. He sat down on the bed, pulling on socks and tucking in the pants.

He grabbed his hiking boots and laced them up, still scouting around the room for possible tools, eyes settling on an orange aluminum baseball bat in the corner. He stood up and looked himself in the eyes reflected in the mirror over the dresser as he pulled the drawstring at his throat up and tied it snugly around his chin, tucking his short beard inside. He nodded at himself, mustering the courage to take on this fast, hairy, terrifying invader; assuring himself he could survive this battle.

“I am scary as fuck. Spider, you are toast now.” He said out loud to himself. He grabbed the remote off the bed and put the tv on for some noise. Wheel of Fortune was on. He walked toward the kitchen to the sound of canned applause.

Broom and baseball bat in hand, he peered around the refrigerator sides, pushing the broom as far as it would go into the gaps at the sides and underneath. Ineffective, the broom was too fat to get into it beyond a few inches of plastic straw.

He stretched up and checked the top of the fridge carefully, taking everything down, inspecting it and putting it on the the table, as his heart pounded. Nothing, no spider. He traded the broom for the fly swat and carefully slid the thin metal and plastic down into the crevice between the cabinet and the fridge. He couldn’t get all the way to the back, the flyswatter was too short.

He stepped back and, checking the floor all around him, he carefully set the flyswatter and baseball bat down on the floor, grabbed a flashlight off the table and peered under the fridge. He couldn’t see anything there so he stood up, pocketed the flashlight, spread his arms on either side of the fridge and pulled it back. Struggling, he managed to get it out about a foot from the wall and it stuck.

There was some sort of blockage on the floor. He pulled again and felt the weight of the fridge pressing against him and the contents shifting and rattling around as it almost fell over on top of him. Sharply exhaling, he got the big thing righted again and stopped pulling. He squatted down, hugged the appliance again and tried pulling the fridge from near the bottom, but it wouldn’t budge. He finally let go too quickly, he leaned back, lost his balance and landed on his ass. Henry panicked for a second and looked around wildly for the spider as he scrambled back onto his feet.

Peering into the gap he’d created behind the fridge, he was shocked by the spider webs along the wall. He got his flashlight out and after carefully checking the countertop, he leaned over and shined his light into the crevice behind the appliance. It was in the corner. Some kind of spider and it was huge, blackish-brown and hairy. The back of the thing was covered in some sort of bubbles or foam. What the hell?

Spider eggs, was the only thing he could think of. His heart was pounding in his ears and he looked away from the horror long enough to see the front of his sweatshirt moving slightly with each thump. He steadied his breathing, fearful he might actually have a heart attack.

The spider was just sitting there with it’s head full of black eyes, long hairy legs poised, staring at him. He wanted to run, to cry. He seriously thought about the pistol. No, the noise would bring the neighbors, he couldn’t use it, it would leave a hole in the floor and he might miss the damn thing anyway. He couldn’t get the broom wedged into the spot, the upper cabinet and wall were positioned so he couldn’t get the broom maneuvered in behind there to squish it. The baseball bat wasn’t nearly long enough.

He mentally ran through his short mental list of friends, wondering if there was anyone he could call. No one. The guys at the shop would never let him hear the end of it. He went over to the pantry and got the can of insecticide spray. It was empty.

He sighed a deep sigh and threw it in the trashcan after flashing his light into the corner to make sure the monster was still there. It was. He thought for a moment he was going to hyperventilate, again he steadied his breathing.

The sun was going down now and he turned on all the kitchen lights. He worried this thing was going to crawl under the fridge and disappear. He wondered if he could just move out and live in a hotel until he could sell his house. Bah that will never work, nothing sells in this town.

He stared at the ugly arachnid and her spawn, feeling helpless.

Then, hope arrived as an idea came.

“Yes! You motherfucker I know exactly how to get rid of your hairy ass. Come in here and take over my kitchen. Fuck that! I know how to kill you now.”

Henry smiled as he pointed his light at the vile thing, “You stay right there, you little bastard. I’ll be back,” he said in his best Terminator voice.

He jogged out the front door to his truck and opened up his tool box on the bed. Pulled out his acetylene torch, gave it a shake. Ah yes, it was full. He grinned slowly, opened up the truck door, got a white bic lighter out of the glove box. He almost went back in through the back door, but the proximity to the spider and the refrigerator made him pause. He turned and tore back around front, to the front porch, nearly tripping and knocking over his green plastic chair. He rushed back into the kitchen and peered over into the void. Spider was still there.

“Time for some seared spider!” he yelled as he launched himself up onto the counter, nearly falling into the crevice and knocking over the fridge, panicking again at the near disaster of being wedged helplessly in behind the fridge in the small space with the spider.

Regaining his balance, he stared at the spider and tried once again to slow the racing of his heart, swallowing down the vomit that had almost come up in the commotion.

Finally calm and stable again, he held the torch up, cranked the thumb screw and lit it. He adjusted the blue then yellow flame out as far as he could get it to go. He laid down on his stomach on the counter and balanced as much of his body into the tiny space as he could and pointed the flame at the spider.

“Yes! Die motherfucker!! Die you hairy bitch!”

And the flame from the torch paralyzed the egg bearing arachnid. He watched it’s legs and hair sizzle and curl up, and finally nothing was left but a crispy looking black lump. Coughing suddenly he looked up from the blackened corner of the floor where the spider was now a clump of ooze. The wall behind the refrigerator was burning, he hadn’t noticed the wall catch on fire. “Oh God!”

He scrambled down off the counter top and frantically turned off the torch, reaching around to the sink, grabbing the spray nozzle, turning the water on full blast. The water spray wouldn’t reach the fire and now both walls were flaming energetically, it was also catching along the wall of the cabinets. The refrigerator started making weird popping sounds and sparks flew out from the electrical cord as it melted away, dripping down.

“Oh shit!” He grabbed a plastic cup out of the cabinet next to the sink and filled it with water, throwing it on the fire, the fire sizzled and carried on unrelenting, moving now to the ceiling. The heat and smoke were beginning to fill the kitchen. The fire was making a roaring sound now.

Henry retrieved his phone off the table and called 911.

By the time the fire department arrived, Henry had wet down as much of the kitchen as he could reach with the kitchen spray, but the whole kitchen, most of the back roof and back door was a loss. The vinyl siding on the back of the house was a melted mess of warped, gooey looking plastic.

He sat in the chair on the front porch in the cool, wet, darkness of the spring evening, poking at the tarps and duct tape Sally had left for him. He considered the best way to tarp off the house against the rain. He’d call the insurance company tomorrow.

“Man this is gonna raise my fucking premiums. Fuck they probably won’t even pay for it”, he ran his hands through his hair, pushing the hood back with irritation. He scooped up the heavy donated pile and headed inside the dark, smoky smell of the house.

He’d have to spend the evening without power, he realized. He shivered, again fighting back a sensation of needing to vomit. An electrician Sally had recommended and called could come by tomorrow and secure the burned sections and then hopefully he could turn everything back on.

He considered packing a bag and spending the night at the little roadside motel up the road.

Henry unfolded the first tarp, spread it out, and shivered in the damp cold he now had to seal away from the surviving part of his house. As he noisily pulled off a length of duct tape, he said to his quiet house, “I shoulda shot the bastard. But at least its dead.”

-End THE INVASION copyright 2018 MelodiJoy aka Mellow D

 

 

 

Mellow D’s Theory of the World, Part 1

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Government at every level has its circles of power, some remain autonomous and some intermingle. These circles move loosely in worldly influence, eventually all the way up to the very highest, those who work directly with a relatively small circle of power at the very top. This is a closed group, the ultimate circle. These are the people that literally control the world and we rarely see them or hear about them but they control almost every aspect of our daily lives.

I will refer this group at the very top of the global power structure, as the Ring of Power (h/t Tolkein). I can hear you laughing. It took me a long time to stop laughing but eventually, I began to see. Now, it is a rather mysterious thing to me specifically but I know it exists (like- chemistry). A global association of the most powerful family dynasties whose names and specifics I do not know. But I know they run the global show. So here is my little insight into what is happening in the world and why things are the way they are.

The Ring of Power

Up until recently, this Ring has been closed to outsiders, dynasties only. These dynasties go back hundreds, possibly thousands of years.

With the Bush family, that intimate, historic circle crossed into the Presidency of the United States.

Since then, the Presidents have only been Clinton, Obama and Trump.

When Hillary Clinton was first lady, she became a member of that intimate circle. They elbowed their way in there via channels established in the office by the three Bush administrations. I suspect Hillary would have been the more aggressive of the couple in machinations for entry into this formerly closed club. The only reason they would have succeeded was because of the power of the United States and their powerful influence there.

Obama (merely a puppet of, not a member of the Ring) gave Hillary the keys to the kingdom by making her Secretary of State in his first term. She used this time to make political bank with the Ring she now is a part of.

People operating at the highest circles, under direction of the Ring, are causing current events to happen. They seem to be encouraging a civil war or some sort of a split in the US. If that happens, it would give the Ring the excuse to go full on military occupation. As protests increase, which they will, in frequency, size and intensity, we will see what happens.

If we lean right to the fascist side the police state become the norm, either suddenly or gradually. The dividing factor: the difference between the way police enforcement and brutality varies between white supremacist groups and black social justice groups. If you can’t see that, you might be a racist. That’s how the Ring divides us. Our disadvantage; sometimes skin colors lie, and the color of your skin may not be the side you find yourself on.

Of course, Trump (not accepted into the Ring but aggressively looking for an entry; currently only a tool) is fanning the flames of the turmoils with daily doses of divisive, slanted or blatantly untrue banter via twitter, combined with his ongoing, whites only rallies, where he seems to court the southern, racist, rather culturally ignorant but highly religious, evangelical christian right. These are the gun owners, Trump’s people.

For the most part, folks on the left don’t have guns unless they are farmers or hunters, and generally they don’t buy memberships into the NRA.

When I was young, we didn’t money for much, but my dad always managed to renew his NRA membership. His truck proudly wore the sticker right under the gun rack. This is typical behavior for Trump’s rural supporters and most southern right wing evangelicals.

The ads run by NRA since Trump’s election would have been unthinkable before 2017. In no uncertain terms, this organization, and many other smaller ones too, are advocating a “cleansing” of “undesirables” from the US. Meaning, depending on the target audience, black people, mexicans, immigrants, “illegals”, gay people of any gender, anyone of questionable gender, pot smokers, drug users, welfare recipients, socialists, and above all and possibly most viciously, “liberals”.

Or as the right wing loves to call them, “libtards”. You can do a search of this word (?) and see all the information you need to convince anyone reading it that the right wing gun owners have itchy trigger fingers and are just frothing at the mouth to use them on any or all of the above. Threats are often made by these groups and individuals, many of them espousing Love of God, Patriotism, and Christianity, that if Trump is impeached there will be bloodshed.

All of this is condoned, the conditions created and constantly groomed by the Ring of Power, it is all part of the plan for population control and utilizing what they see as their most expensive resource, the human worker.

With AI and robotic advances, the worker is quickly becoming obsolete. We will not need nearly as many humans to do the bidding of the Ring of Power in the near future as we have in the past. The writing is on the wall and as usual, the dynasties are planning far in advance.

Without the need for millions of bodies for cheap slave labor, the resource of human capital is suddenly a liability. What to do with all the extra humans? Unless they can perform the now highly advanced needed skills, most humans will have no purpose other than to be kept up by their governments. Even if all humans were technically skilled enough to control the AI and run things, for the Ring’s purposes, there are way too many humans.

Enter, social, cultural and political upheaval. Cue civil wars, mass immigration, nationalism, fascist crackdown on human rights. In other words, war and chaos. Started generations ago in the continent of Africa, Asia, and most recently in the Middle East. Currently we are seeing the rumblings of the same troubles in the more sophisticated and wealthy nations of Europe and the West. Each nation has its own plan tailored to the national strengths and weaknesses.

In US, we have guns. This will be the critical factor in our undoing. Will it help us or destroy us? Only time will tell.

Add to this, whether planned or just by happenstance and resulting from the century long love affair with petro-chemicals, the Earth is contributing to the chaos and disruption by throwing out all sorts of extremes that most humans have never experienced.

The Plan

They want to cull the population and take whats left and turn them into slaves. Now I’m not saying they’re going to come and round us up and put us in work camps. It will probably be much more subtle. You know, like credit card debt. It starts ok then you find you’re a slave to your credit card bill.

Now there may or may not be consensus within the Ring. Perhaps some want full on extermination and roundups and work camps. Since we have Trump as POTUS, I’m nearly certain the roundups and work camps may happen. Combined with a civil war and further collapse of social institutions, healthcare becoming available only to wealthier Americans, this would eliminate possibly a third of the population over 10 years or so. Work camps are already happening, with ICE running detention centers which are frightingly punitive. Check out the prison industry in the US, mostly run by corporations and profiting on the incarceration of humans. The Clintons helped create that system in the 90’s. The Bush administration and the Patriot Act helped it continue. Check here in future for more on corporate prisons and America’s incarceration problem.

The Clintons have long been friendly to the Law Enforcement agencies at every level. No doubt the couple was anticipating a Hillary POTUS, they likely had a less dramatic, slower paced plan than the one we are seeing under Trump. Without doubt, with HRC as POTUS, the Ring of Power plan would have been followed. They are still in the game, with Hillary at the helm this time around.

Hillary Clinton truly is one of the most brilliant minds of her generation. Bill Clinton would never have been President if not for her political genius. She is ambitious on a scale most people cannot understand. I watched her. I was a huge fan of the Clintons. I voted for Bill Clinton in my first presidential election. Hillary was someone I admired. At first.

By the end of their second term I was done with the Clintons. My opinion of them then was “sold out”. I watched as the world around me became more corporate and less humane.

I saw how they operated their policies, using POC when convenient and necessary, while supporting and enacting devious public policies which further oppressed PoC and all people of lower income levels. There was that sticky sweet, southern secret racism I had grown up with, I could see it in their faces and hear it in their words. The hypocricy of it repulsed me.

The most dramatic change during and after the Clinton presidency was the increase in military police tactics and surveillance. There crept in a general degradation of privacy and autonomy in daily life. Drug testing became the norm, even though at first there was an outcry of human rights, it didn’t take long for nearly all jobs to require on. It was a corporatization of our nation. Beuracracy seemed to expand and become more intrusive, taking up more and more of our time and attention just to live.

Most disruptive to my personal sense of balance and equalibrium in the world was the affect on women, which on one hand I celebrated. I’ve been oppressed as a woman all my life. I was demeaned and damaged in my early working years because of my gender and appearance. Of course Hillary was a brilliant role model for women in the workforce. But there was a dark side to the Hillary model of “women’s empowerment.”

At first, I noticed a shift in spokespeople for evil big companies doing bad things. Oil spills, environmental disasters; the companies responsible for them. Suddenly they always had female PR people, spouting obvious and destructive fake facts assuring the public of company talking points to deflect and diminish any environmental impact.

Hillary did have an impact, she showed how effective a smart, articulate woman could be. However, because what she said, so often directly contradicted her actions, her influence turned negative for some.

I saw a shift in the way women spoke, in who they were, their goals and ambitions. This was a massive change, and it was, in my view, not good for women, because now suddenly, women had to be ruthless and heartless to succeed.

What Hillary modeled, especially for young ambitious women, was that it is acceptable to do morally repugnant acts in the name of a Job.

In fact, if it enables you to “break through a glass ceiling”, it is encouraged and entirely justified since it is so difficult for a woman to advance in a high level corporate environment, and it really was difficult twenty years ago.

The overall “message” was: As long as it is Only You Doing Your Job, you, inside, remain blameless.

That, my friends, is bullshit.

What we DO as humans, job or not, is exactly what defines us as good people or bad people. We can rationalize and explain and sooth our souls with lots of things, but it always will be so, that our actions define us, whether dictated by a paycheck or not.

The Self

If you consistently stay in a position that causes you to do or be responsible for morally repugnant acts, your soul will be at risk.

If we don’t live what we believe, then we are not true; we are not real; we are fake people. The only way to be a real person, a true person, is to live a reflection of what our values are. If we ascribe to a high level of moral standards, we will live it or we will be damaging our souls.

Once we human individuals start in a particular direction, we become more comfortable doing whatever we do. After a while, if we keep doing it, whether we enjoy it or not, we get good at it, whatever IT is. We grow old but we become more and more of who we are.

So, a person who makes evil choices and continues to, will become more evil. Eventually they will either self destruct or luxuriate in their successes. Some people in this world glorify and worship evil. For them, extreme evil is a grand success.

Good people don’t really celebrate being good, they just- are. They’re normally happy and content but there isn’t much fanfare.

Other people may celebrate them when they die or they may die unnoticed, but generally, good is not nearly as well rewarded as evil. For good people, that’s ok.

Yes, I believe in good and evil and in the concept of a soul. I am not sure how I know these things, but I am absolutely certain that everything we do in this life will have an impact in some way after we die but perhaps more importanly, in how we feel inside ourselves while we are alive.

Good people tend to sleep better and have happier lives than bad people. Call me a simpleton, and yes, perhaps it is a basic tenant of my religious upbringing I will never shake.

Ultimately, the only reason we are here is to learn and to love and to be loved. I could go on and on about the details of this belief system, but it is where my heart and head is. At this point, at my age, I doubt it will change very much. I am vague, but solid in my beliefs. Silly, but true.

It will be exciting to find out what happens once this life is over and the next big adventure begins. Personally, I’m working on banking as much good and as much love as I possibly can so as to be prepared, both for the journey and the destination.

None of us humans are perfect, but if we are aware and awake, life can be an exciting adventure and it should be a hell of a lot more than paying bills and dying, full of regrets.

We can try to change the world, but we must be cautious that we are in a good place ourselves first. Otherwise, we may wind up making an even bigger mess of things. (Trump and TV Preachers are good examples of this).

So before we start calling people out for living in ways we find offensive or wrong, we need to examine ourselves. We gotta clean our own house first. Once we are sure we are solid, then we can start exploring groups or individuals who are impacting others negatively, and calling them out. But we must always monitor our own egos.

Power, money and influence are powerful and deceptive. This is why so many “heros” self destruct. We have to be honest with ourselves and keep our soul house clean, or risk falling back into the darkness.

If we do nothing else in this life, if we learn love, if we experience it and honestly share it, we have success here. Success is, in my view, about being completely comfortable in one’s own skin and being able to love without any attachments, negotiations or expectations. To Love Unconditionally.

So for now, this rather religious and conspirical tirade is nearly complete, but considering how depressing my theory of the world is, I’ll add this for a laugh and as an invitation, perhaps, for ridicule. My most important reason for sharing this especially secret part of my theory, is for the hope it gives me. So here’s to a laugh, or to hope.

One thing I’ve found in my life, particulary in the last fifteen years or so, is that often in this world, truth is stranger than fiction.

To conclude, for now, my theory on the Ring of Power which rules the world, I want to remind you fellow humans that we are not, whether by caste, race, religion or nation, destined for extermination. We humans do not have to bend to the whims of this group.

Just because they are in power now and have been for centuries doesn’t mean we, as a species, are doomed. As a singular Earthly Human Race, we are powerful and unique in the universe. Some in the Ring of Power are likely working with extra terrestrials, of which there are many species.

These Ring people are ultimately in control at the highest, most secret levels of government and military power, and this is where the extra terrestrial connection lives. There is much here to consider and few facts to be found, but oh so many clues. My instinct makes me nearly certain this is happening, but it is admitedly, only a visceral, powerful intuition.

I also know there are other extra terrestrials too, and some of the good ones have the back of the people of Earth right now, and they know what’s going on. We are not alone. So don’t lose hope. Ever.

Check back for more of Mellow D’s Theory of the World, coming soon. Thank you for reading.

American Class

Social media has upended society. There appears to be a revolution brewing here similar to what we’ve seen in other countries, but never here since the Civil War of 1860’s. Though the idea of a revolution fills me with fear and dread, I feel it is time. What most of us are doing isn’t living. We pay bills and die.

Here’s what my America looks like.

Times are hard. First of all, work. If you have a college degree from a low profile college or university you get a low paying job. If you have a fancy degree or one from a fancy institution, you start out ok and if all goes well, you will probably have a decent life in  USA, for now. If you have your own business, you do your work and keep track of your earnings and pay taxes. If you are working for someone else, taxes are removed from your paycheck. Also removed from your paycheck are healthcare expenses. If you are not insured through your work you pay for health insurance. You are also expected to carry accident insurance, dental insurance, vision insurance and, if you have any dependents, life insurance. More expenses, but, in these areas, optional. However, by not having these insurance options you are putting yourself at serious risk of financial repercussions.

Now you have to have a place to live. Housing is expensive. You either live in rough neighborhoods or you share expenses and marry, live with someone or have roommates in order to live in a decent place. Where you live is part of your identity and your status. People judge you based on it. Insurance rates are based on zip codes. If you rent, you have to have renters insurance. if you own, you have home insurance and taxes. More expenses. Utilities are a necessity, water, sewage, electicity, gas, internet, cellphone. All these things must be provided and paid for a normal life. Each of these services is taxed in some way. More expenses. If you don’t pay these things, you don’t have them.

In most cities, you really must have a car. That’s an expense and also a status marker. People judge you based on the car you drive. You must insure the car, again based on zip code to determine rates, taxes on the car based on charts. Add to this Food, which is more expensive than ever; Clothing, which is actually quite cheap but again, people judge you based on what you wear, so don’t look cheap or you’re not going to be able to get a job or possibly keep it. How you dress affects who your friends are and how they view you, depending on what circles you are moving in.

As a nation we have been complacent for a long time. It seems that a great many of us have lost the ability to differentiate between the reality that is being fed to us through media and reality. The picture we are shown in most entertainment and media is very different from “boots on the ground”. It is also assumed to be fairly easy and do-able to work your way up to a decent middle class  lifestyle in the US.

Average Americans fall into a varying caste system and depending on where they are born, occasionally one breaks out, but its rare. They separate, but poverty and education tend to be hereditary.

Most people are more or less invested in the public display of the American Lifestyle as presented by our media. The middle class lives a version of that life, usually going into debt to do it. Every one else either drops out or attempts to maintain a storefront of the Lifestyle as best as they are able. Again, most go into debt to do it.

As in war, where soldiers come home with PTSD from fighting wars they gradually realize are immoral; ultimately about profiteering for a faceless giant who pulls the strings of the system. When you go from being middle class to poor, you gain insight into the hard cold reality of our economic and social systems. Some people will have that experience, others will simply live their own reality for a life time and never question their fortune or their plight, not really contemplating the reasons why it is what it is.

For the wealthy end of the caste system, life is really good right now. With a little backing from inheritances a person can maintain a lifestyle of luxury and travel. Owning a small jet, plane or helicopter is not unusual. These people move at the highest circles of the “regular people” political economic systems and a few occasionally interact with the seriously important people who fringe The Ring; more on that later.

For working class Americans at the bottom, life is a constant struggle. Juggling budgets and bills and barely keeping everything paid. If one mistake is made, one bad decision, it is often a quick downhill slide to destitution and homelessness. Often it is an injury or an illness which leaves a person with very little with absolutely nothing.

With hard and diligent work with no major mistakes a person can maintain a semi normal life, but there are no vacations, no fancy schools or classes and not a lot of icing on the cake of life. It is do-able, but not pleasant, a drudgery. Relentless work and constant demands, and the gnawing ever growing frustration with the realization that things just keep getting tougher. There are times when a person wants to just get away, but there is no escape.

Poverty and drug addiction go hand in hand because being poor is so stressful and unpleasant and for some the only escape is to alter one’s reality with drugs, which of course, makes the situation even worse.

We wonder why we have had an opiod epidemic? Poverty is certainly a factor. More on that later.

That concludes this American Class.

Trump is using the same tactics GOP has used for decades

Baptistchurch

The subtle indoctrination is always there, using the wedge of class, gender, age, race, nationality, regionality, the list can go on forever, because that is the weapon of control. Divide and conquer is the weapon of choice of religion’s power players.

Of these, the Southern Baptist denomination as an institution and on a personal level, is one of the most divisive, insidious, corrupt examples of who and how has inserted religious beliefs and “faith” into a political machine which uses the individuals within as political tools.

Through “grass roots” efforts, media, materials and support is given to churchgoers to support or protest certain political movements. These materials are provided by the shadowy alliances of power players in the religious organization and political influence groups. They figure out where they need to get the “base” fired up, and they focus their efforts in specific localities to have the best effect. The good faithful church people get upset and encouraged to contact their political leaders and stand up for the Christian people. This can have a huge effect.

Now days the issue is mainly Abortion, the big cash cow the whole right-left divide has revolved around for decades now. Since Roe vs. Wade, this is the issue which is used to divide our country.

Within this issue lies the control of women and their bodies. Women on the right go along with this without question. If they do question it, if it doesn’t affect them directly they dismiss it as unimportant.

Most lifelong religious people have a lifetime of indoctrination which has taught them that a great powerful father figure (preacher, pastor, politician, president) cares and loves them so much they have to trust that figure to make the decisions for us, because we are weak and childlike. Women and can’t be trusted to make our own choices. Women’s issues: healthcare, childcare, equal pay, time off for new babies, are all wrapped up in the right wing conservative policies with abortion.

LGBT issues in addition to abortion is frequently trotted out to divide us. LGBT rights are treated as an apocalyptic threat to “Christian” survival. Apocalyptic is the trump card of the religious right. How ironic is that? Is it so hard to see the messages we are getting from the universe here?

Also at issue, thanks to the Trump era, are many things we thought we had basically sorted out, but it turns out that in truth, we still have serious, critical social problems. Namely here, racism. This one is secret and subtle and the main troubles with racism must be addressed at the Justice and law enforcement levels. However, the racist, white supremacist message that has been a secret and whispered reality of southern churches since the civil war, has been given a new life and many who were silent about their racism have now become vocal and unashamed.

Christians who attend politically influenced church organizations even get directed to support gun control. Any issue the political right has been vocal about, you can bet there are special interest groups targeting “christian” voters, feeding them distorted information in most cases, and encouraging them to get involved in the political process before their “freedoms” are taken away.

Fear. It all comes down to fear. They feed the religious right with fear. The affect is enhanced now by the fact that most people who are religiously faithful are generally not so well educated. Our educational system has been gradually dumbing down each generation to the point that now many people aren’t terribly discerning when it comes to disseminating information and formulating opinions and beliefs. I am beginning to doubt the “normal” persons ability to do so, or more especially, if they even care too. Most are lost in their own little lives with no care of regard for anyone or anything outside their own small circles.

 

Religion and Politics dangerous when combined

Evangelical Christians in the US helped to elect Donald Trump. Many of them still support him. Personally I’ve been disgusted by the GOP hijacking of the Christian vote since we were sticking flags on every thing, singing “God bless America” and going to war in the middle east back in 2002. GW Bush and Dick Cheney’s corporate war created the nightmare we are now dealing with all over the world. Back then, people who spoke out against the war were accused of being anti-American. Christians rallied more and more to GOP due to media and behind the scene manipulation of high level religious leaders.

I wrote the following in 2004, when I was still involved in the Christian community. I left and abandoned all organized religion a couple of years after writing this:

We’ve seen such drastic changes in industry and technology in the last 200 years, and faced with technology now being developed and expanded at a geometric rate, our social and political systems, particularly our basic social patterns, are straining to keep up with the changes. The social-political system in the United States is at a turning point.

The vocal majority of Christians have fallen under the Republican Party’s leadership. In a two party system it can be forgiven for a people to become complacent and confused. Professional politicians and bureaucrats, mostly Republican lately, but in close coordination with many in the Democratic camp, have taken to manipulating the American Christian public, and “we like sheep have gone astray”.

I would like to speak out for a new kind of Christian, a free Christian, one that will not blindly follow a particular political party, but who simply want to live as they choose in a free, peaceful society. There are a great many devout Christians in this country who would rather base their votes on the character of the person running, and the issues they stand for rather than take a “party line”.

Many realize that we live under a corrupt and self serving political system, which is quite possibly using the media to manipulate the general public, and along with it the “Christian vote” to further their own personal agendas.

Some Christians feel that the reputation of the faith is being soiled by those who use its name to their personal advantage, and not for the glory of God. This has been going on to some degree since Jesus walked the earth two thousand years ago, and it has escalated. It is no longer blatant, as it was in the Middle Ages, but subtle, sophisticated and sinister.

Our government and our politicians are too corrupt and self serving to be representatives of the Christian faith. “Ye shall know them by the fruit that they bear”.

robert-green-ingersoll-quote-nothing-could-be-more-dangerous-to-the-ex

Sunday

Growing up in the strip-mined foothills and swampy river bottoms of the Appalachian mountains in Kentucky, I always went to church on Sunday morning with my parents. My dad was the preacher so we had to be there early. Mom would get up early, get breakfast for us and get food in the oven so that there would be a big meal to come home to. We usually had some sort of roast and vegetables that had been cooked slow in the oven while we were at church.

Dresses were mandatory. Fake patent leather shoes were put on, black in winter, white in summer. To make them shine, we rubbed them with toilet paper soaked in baby oil. Pressing the dresses and polishing the shoes was a Saturday night ritual. The smell of baby oil always reminds me of those shiny, uncomfortable shoes that always made me feel so dressed up.

We each had Holy Bibles, King James Version, with our names printed on the front, I got mine for Christmas when I was 8 years old. It was light blue with silver print on the outside, with red print to indicate the direct quotes from Jesus. This went on until I was about ten or twelve, then sporadically til I turned fourteen and refused to go anymore.

When we got to church, mom played the piano and dad stood at the door shaking everyone’s hand as they came into the church building. Sunday School started at 9:30 or 10am and we split off into classrooms to study prepackaged bible study materials. Church came after, starting at 10:45, beginning with the hymnal singing, perhaps someone singing a solo, prayers always led by men, offering plates passed around, then the preaching. It culminated in the “invitation” where a hymn was sung, a slow, heart wrenching one, and those who needed to be “saved” or “re-dedicated” would walk down the center aisle and meet the preacher there. Usually there were tears at this point as the preacher knelt and fervently counseled the new or renewed Christian. Some churches would baptize the believer immediately, other churches were more pragmatic and waited until the next week, or a whole bunch of baptisms once a month. My dad was in the do it next week or once a month camp.

Baptism was a splashy dramatic event performed in a baptismal, a tank of water the preacher and the believer stepped down into. The baptismal had a clear plexiglass front so the churchgoers could watch the dunking and to make it even more dramatic, there was a big heavy curtain in front of the thing which would be opened and closed before and after the performance. I was baptized in a cow pond, but that’s another story.

As long as there weren’t a whole bunch of new converts to be saved or renewed, the first Sunday Church process was done by noon. We then had to be back at church by 6 until 8 or even 9pm some Sunday nights. Then we had service again on Wednesday evening.

After church was over, my mom and my sisters and I would put together Sunday dinner, the fanciest most well-set table of the week. Since we were the preacher’s family, we would often times have people over. Mom had just enough time to get everything cleaned up and hopefully take a short nap before going back to church. Dad always had a nap on Sunday afternoons. Mom got up the next day and worked her pink collar job 8 til 5 until Friday, had a day Saturday to clean house or do things with my sisters or me, then Sunday came again. This was my mother’s entire adult working life.

healthcare??

As I move through life I regularly connect with many who are similar to me. A constant flow of people who are not necessarily the great conquerors, not the high achievers, not really successful at much except hanging on, working hard and hoping they can provide something a little better for the next generation. Many of these people are insightful, caring and compassionate people. They work as nurses aids, road workers, construction workers, chefs, teachers, small business owners. They each have a story and some special gift or talent.

Most everyone also seems, in some way, to be suffering from a disconnection to either other people, the earth, or themselves. Some people are disconnected at every level. This lack of cohesiveness within and without manifests in some way with dysfunction in emotional responses, relationship problems, substance abuse and also in physical or mental illness. When physical illness, so often brought on by stress and unresolved issues, occurs it drags people into the system of healthcare nightmares which usually ends in bills and pills.

Getting hurt or sick or having some sort of health issue is an oftentimes overwhelmingly stressful event leading to severe financial problems, bankruptcy, divorce, substance abuse and suicide. Healthcare in this country is absolutely horrible in its cost, structure and organization. The patient gets screwed at every possible level.

Even though there are some astoundingly talented and compassionate professionals in the healthcare industry, the salespeople, marketers and insurance companies have leeched onto the whole system and taken it over.

There is NOTHING that is sensible or even comprehensible about the way we do healthcare in this country, from a patient’s perspective. This will always be so as long as healthcare is being provided as a profit driven commodity.

If there is any institution that should be cooperatively, non-profitably operated by public services of government it is healthcare. We made the choice to fund public education. The system does indeed have its problems, but it is necessary and part of basic human needs being paid for by taxes we all pay. We must find a way to make healthcare part of the fabric of our society, just as is education, as well as roads, bridges, etc. We need public services for the common good of society.

#healthcare #poverty #universalhealthcare #singlepayer #medicareforall #medicalbankruptcy